2021.03.01 00:33 MysticalSecerts Parasol 2020 Worth??
2021.03.01 00:33 BiomedDood Day out in Santa Cruz (California) with my 875 Moc Toe ..beautiful CA spring weather!!
2021.03.01 00:33 Coherent37 🤔👽
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2021.03.01 00:33 itsemy Why is images disappearing all over the place. Any solution and why this is happening? Thank you!
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2021.03.01 00:33 landovr Dreaming of pancakes.
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2021.03.01 00:33 Hegemon1984 That smells great!
"Heeyyy that smells great!"
I walk in the kitchen to find my girlfriend stirring what smells like a bratwurst that's popping in a skillet. She's standing on one leg and leaning against the counter looking so damn fine, as usual. She turns her head back when she hears me.
"Hey baby." She smiles sheepishly as I grab a mug out of the cabinet. "You sleep ok?"
"Ya, work was rough yesterday, I was out like a fucking log. I didn't wake you up when I got back did i?"
"No, no you're fine. I figured I'd let you sleep and get a start on breakfast."
I pour some steaming coffee in my cup and add some Silk™ Almond Milk creamer. "Of course you did. 'Cause you're the best."
She breathes heavily out of her nose in appreciation. I walk over with my coffee and wrap my arms around her curvy figure, sway back and forth slightly, and sit my chin on her shoulder to check out what she's making.
I look in the pan. At first glance, I thought it was what I had smelled- a sausage. But as soon as I saw what she was cooking, something churned in my stomach. I had an extremely revolting reaction in my gut before I could even really process what I was looking at.
Then, I noticed. That isn't a bratwurst.
It's a dick. That's a fucking penis.
I then noticed the familiar color and shape of the tip of a circumcised dick. It even had a slight curve, similar to that of a sausage from the store.
I immediately freeze with shock, unable to move due to the instantaneous overload of conflicing emotion. "What the fuck? What the fuck?" I'm saying to myself.
"What's wrong babe?" She says in my left ear.
For some reason, I get the sudden urge to open my pants and check my own schlong out of sheer panic. I let go of her, step back, and pull down my sweatpants and underwear in one go.
What I saw nearly made me black out.
There was no penis, no balls. Only a smooth, flat surface where they once were.
My fucking dick is gone.
In the next few seconds, or hours, I can't remember, I started screaming. Uncontrollably. "No no no no this can't be real. This can't be real! What the fuck, what the fuck on my god!!"
Finally, I look at her in a rage of confusion and anxiety. Her beautiful, beaming face stops my screaming and changes my focus to her voice. She starts talking in a calm, but enthusiastic tone. I've been holding my coffee this whole time, and haven't spilled a drop.
"I told you baby, if you ever cheat on me, I'll cut your fucking dick off!" She says through an ever-growing smile.
Suddenly, I'm not even mad. She wasn't lying.
I wake up.
She's not in the bed. I smell something cooking.
I walk into the kitchen and see her standing in front of the stove.
"Heeyyy, that smells great!"
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2021.03.01 00:33 dwswift Best Melee Damage Class
If you had to pick on melee class to blow something up, what would you pick? I'm in a group with casters and support but no real melee damage...
I currently play a drunk master but I'm getting bored with unarmed strike unarmed strike unarmed strike and so on....
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2021.03.01 00:33 GTSBot [GTS] +them random piercings starterpack
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2021.03.01 00:33 NightmarePlayz_YT I got me some bucks
2021.03.01 00:33 gizmodeus 37 [M4R] Calgary/online. Looking for fun chats with married people.
I'm married and not looking for an affair. I don't expect to fall in love with another redditor. But I would very much like to have some really deep friendships with other married people, married people who don't feel complete in their monogamous relationship. I love my wife and won't ever leave her, and am actually quite happy, but I feel like no person can be everything to everyone. Covid has made me realize that I need more meaningful relationships in my life.
So, what I want is to chat with people who are in similar situations! I want a super deep friendship where we can understand each and support each others situations. I want something that is also flirtatious and fun! Bonus points if you are from MST east (i wake up and go to bed early) or in Calgary.
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2021.03.01 00:33 lisdo How would Angel Dust react if he found out he accidentally shot a child in a gunfight?
According to the Fandom Wiki, Angel Dust has a soft spot for children (I imagine it like the chill, cool uncle of the family that isn't miserable). I do imagine he would suffer some grief or mourning, but would it wash away quickly? Or would he just have a "meh" attitude to the situation, finding it just a part of the criminal business? How would it change if he found out he accidentally shot a human child? (For the sake of this discussion/question, let's assume the child was an innocent bystander in the mentioned gunfight.) (Remember, keep answers and discussions civil!)
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2021.03.01 00:33 KJ6BWB What's the difference between mlm and antimlm?
2021.03.01 00:33 Catwolf13 My Ideas On Controls For Legends of Zelda and The Twilight Princess For Nintendo Switch
The minus botton can be the map, the D-pad can be the tools, the B button can be roll and dodge, A can be to jump and interact. Targeting and shield will be ZL, using gear can be ZR, and transforming to a wolf or human can be R. Also attacking will be Y and spin attack if you hold Y. But using boots will be on only using the D-pad. I also think holding A and ZL can be Link’s charge sword attack.
submitted by Catwolf13 to legendofzelda [link] [comments]
2021.03.01 00:33 AJB48 210228 Zhang Yifan Weibo Update
2021.03.01 00:33 reddit_feed_bot WND: Priest declares Joe Biden 'the most aggressively anti-Catholic president in history'
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2021.03.01 00:33 KJones77 [Highlight] Villanova's Jermaine Samuels slides really far vs Butler
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2021.03.01 00:33 abrahamcerritos1 [Recruiting] Town Hall Levels ANY/ We are Clan “Shores” 🏝 War Clan 🏝 Looking for loyal active members🏝 Clan Number is #2L90GRU9L🏝 Join!
2021.03.01 00:33 HooCena Godspeed You Nico! The Velvet Emperor - Lift The Underground With Your Skinny Fists
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2021.03.01 00:33 Hindel [B] [USA-CA] Sony 16-35 f2.8 GM [H] Paypal
2021.03.01 00:33 S0m30neee Making memes about not getting Dvalins eyeballs week 2
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2021.03.01 00:33 proceeds_theweedian Will there be enough overhead on the 5600x with my obnoxiously big air cooler, if I get the 6800xt at stock clock? I do intend on upgrading the psu.Then, if I use this gpu AIO, and a kraken or similar on the cpu, will there be a bottleneck at the cpu, with the xt if both are overclocked?
2021.03.01 00:33 castleshadows Tritype?
2021.03.01 00:33 AriasXero 【COVER】Senbonzakura『千本桜』|εpsilonΦ | ARGONAVIS from BanG Dream! AAside
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2021.03.01 00:33 meltonthegreat Best mail day pull I’ve ever had
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2021.03.01 00:33 SorenWray Marionette by Core Self (Hereditary Tribute)